Enough already! Have you ever yelled that out at the top of your lungs or whimpered it through tears as you knelt face down on the floor? I have, throughout life, more times than I can count. Sometimes the heavy stuff happens and hits like an avalanche, without warning. At a particularly empty moment where God felt far away, I wondered if I just might be a distant relative of Job, as I wrote these questions in my journal. ’When will I know love?’ ‘When will I know peace?’ When will I know joy?’ When will I be healed from this pain?’ ‘When will I be free?’, and the voiceless Voice of my Beloved beckoned, ’Now’ and my heart melted as it listened.
‘Walk through the threshold this present suffering provides, into my Presence, where the fear and doubt are released. It is true, you can not do this on your own. Your mind will only lead you further into pain and chaos. This present suffering releases its’ grip as you move through it into my Presence. Like a plane moves through the clouds. Like a bird moves through the air. In my Presence the illusion of the unforgiving, condemning thoughts of the past and fearful images of the future disintegrate. Grace flows over you and through you, gently pulling up the roots of fear. You can not think your way into a new way of being. Just come to me. Turn to me. Fall into me. Fall into grace and mercy. Fall into my embrace. There are not enough words to convey my heart. For Silence speaks the meaning mere words can only point to. Do not be afraid, my beloved. You are not alone. I am with you always.’
Maria is a Spiritual Director and ordained minister who resides in New Jersey. Learn more at www.thedeeperconnection.org Book Maria for a free Spiritual Direction Discovery Call.
